


Finding You

by fnuckle



Series: Anastasia's Story [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Companion Piece, Ficlet, Fluff, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, POV Multiple, will update tags as I post
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:34:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fnuckle/pseuds/fnuckle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a companion piece to my main fic, The Lost Girl. The Lost Girl is a "Modern Girl in Thedas" story, about a girl named Anna who finds herself mysteriously transported into Thedas-- and then she finds out she's also a mage, as well as a dreamer. This piece is basically everyone else's POV, or things that don't necessarily fit into the main storyline. There will probably be big chapters as well as smaller, one shot type blurbs. Everything in this fic is canon to the main story unless otherwise stated. I will for sure be putting Cullen's POV in here as well, but the rest is still undecided. </p><p>Each Chapter is marked, and the notes will tell you what chapters of the main fic you should read first, if any. This fic isn't necessary to enjoy the main one, but I would highly recommend it if you enjoy The Lost Girl, as it fills in a lot of details!</p><p>Lastly, I will update tags as I post! (Also, rating is set to explicit because main fic is explicit)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leli(Anna)'s Song-- Leliana POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Best read after chapter 3 :)
> 
> Also, I pulled a few lines from the dialogue where its talking about death being His only blessing so disclaimer: property of bioware etc etc

If there was anything Leliana did not like, it was surprises.

When she was younger, she loved them. The surprises were most often something good-- like a flower blooming where it should not-- perhaps in the frostbacks, for example, surrounded by cold and snow. Years ago she would have marvelled over such a small, simple thing. She would’ve said that it was a miracle-- evidence of the Maker’s love still lingering despite Him turning away from the world so long ago.

But now? Now she wouldn’t give the flower any heed at all-- no, she wasn’t sure if she believed in these small miracles anymore, in the beautiful surprises that life can present to one’s wonder and amazement. Now, when there were surprises, it was almost always bad news. Like the explosion of the Chantry, leading to the mage-templar war, followed later by the Conclave. So many good people had perished, the world spun into chaos. How could she see something as simple as a flower, and call it a miracle--proof of the Makers love--when there was so much evidence suggesting otherwise? With so many deaths, and so much suffering... No, if anything, it only confirmed that the Maker’s love was no longer, that He had indeed turned away from the world. Perhaps He wanted them to die. Perhaps death was now His only blessing.

Leliana was sitting in her office underneath the Chantry. When they set up their base in Haven, it had originally just been a place for refugees and other officials to stay while they attended the Conclave, but now with the breach, it had become so much more. Now it was home to the Inquisition, and Leliana had claimed the Chantry’s basement for herself and her people-- three long hallways, one leading to a room, all of them with jail cells. They left the room for actual prisoners, but converted the rest. The right wing was turned into bunkers, where her agents could sleep undisturbed, the left wing into offices, so that they could work in peace _and_ in privacy.In her line of work, privacy was imperative-- and although she spent many of her daylight hours in a tent outside, in front of the Chantry, where she sent off Ravens and collected messages, this was where all the real work was done. This was where she actually _kept_ all her secrets. Where she did the brunt of her work-- doing everything in her power so that there would be no more unpleasant surprises.

No more big ones, at least.

But today, she had been surprised. And now, sitting in her office, she was no longer sure what to make of it.

She shifted, taking out the report that Rena handed her a week earlier, sliding out the coin that had been tucked away with it.

When she first read the report, she was sure that the woman was delusional. The coin was of some interest, with intricate details--beautiful work, but not entirely uncommon. It could easily have been the creation of a very talented craftsman, or perhaps a mage. This type of detail would have taken a lot of time, and would have costed a small fortune to make, but she had doubted that that’s how the girl acquired it-- Leliana had assumed that the woman had merely found it, that it was some sort of ancient artifact perhaps, or maybe someone had it made for whatever reason and then lost it. The woman, in her obvious lunacy, had incorporated it into her delusions, which included claiming that she was from another world entirely.

The only reason why she had not let her go earlier was because she had claimed she could foresee the events that would take place in Val Royeaux. Although her claims were absurd, Leliana had kept her just in case they proved true; always preferring to err on the side of caution with these sorts of things.

And then, when the event happened as the woman claimed (although a simple detail was wrong, it was close enough), Leliana became angry.

Not only did this woman have a ridiculous cover story, but it was like whoever had sent her to Haven was _mocking_ Leliana. They _must’ve_ known she would get caught. They might have even brainwashed her, making her truly believe her story was real, so that they would not take her seriously when she was found. Perhaps she was even given the coin as “proof”, to further sway her believability.

And then amongst all the nugshit, they told her that one detail, one that seemed ludicrous enough that, along with her story, would be enough to make Leliana dismiss her entirely. It was a message, a clever move in the game, one that was purposefully meant to tease her, to mock her, to show that they could outright _tell_ her what was to come, yet still take her by surprise in the end.

But now, Leliana was not so sure.

As soon as she saw the woman, she knew that she was innocent-- a pawn in the game, used by those who sent her. She was too soft, too weak, and she _did_ truly believe in her own, ridiculous story. Leliana had no intention of harming her, only trying to scare her into revealing information. The girl most likely didn’t even know who sent her-- although the report of how she claimed to get here was a good start. She wanted to know who the woman that the girl described was, or if she was even real in the first place.

But then the woman mentioned her past with Marjolaine, and her blood had run cold. Whoever had sent her wasn’t just mocking the inquisition, but was _personally threatening_ Leliana herself.

She could not let that stand.

In her anger, she had become violent, injuring the woman's arm. It seemed cruel, but Leliana had done much worse in the past. There was little she would not do if it came down to it. She had killed for far, far less before.

That was, after all, her job.

But then something happened. Something Leliana could have never foreseen. It was another surprise, this one so unexpected, that it shook her to her core.

It was not often that something left her so aghast.

She had been about to kill the girl. Yes, it had been out of rage, but she would have reasoned it away as necessary-- she knew about Marjolaine, and Tug, and Sketch, and this was information which could possibly used against her.The less people in the world who were privy to that knowledge, the better. Yet despite her anger, she gave the girl one last chance, one last opportunity to reveal herself. There was no way Leliana could’ve known that she would reveal one of her most intimate and cherished memories instead.

It was a memory which she had never told _anyone._ It was a weakness that could be used against her and exploited--unlikely, but still a possibility. She had vowed to herself that she would not let that happen...she would not let her most treasured memory be ripped from her and twisted into something that could hurt her-- and so it was a secret that she kept, never once daring to whisper it to another soul.

Leliana sat back in her chair, thinking. It was one of her most vivid memories from childhood--she didn’t even know if it was real, but nonetheless, she kept it close to her heart. It was right before her mother died-- she had just turned four, and her Mother, as a special treat, took her on a trip to the Waking Sea. It was a beautiful spring day, sweet orange and lavender blooming in all the gardens of the small Orlesian villa-- the town right next to her own. To her, at that age, travelling to the villa had been a grand journey, and she had been so excited to see the crashing waves of the ocean for the very first time. They had checked into an inn, one with a beautiful terrace view, and then, whilst her mother held her hand, Leliana saw it--the sheer vastness of the ocean making her gasp. She remembers looking up at her mother, taking in the smell of her freshly washed gray linen dress. It was a source of comfort and familiarity, but at that moment, all she wanted to do was go to the sea and play in the water. Her mother had beamed down at her. “Not yet, Lily.” she said. “The sun is about to set, and then it will be too dark. We will go in the morn.”

Leliana was disappointed-- she was only a child after all, and very impatient. But then they watched the sunset together, its beauty enhanced as it set over the sea.

It was only a couple of weeks later when her mother passed, when her life would be turned upside down. It was the last memory she had of her mother, and it was one that she would never forget.

Leliana sighed. She had been absentmindedly fiddling with the coin as she thought, and she looked down at it now, no longer sure what to make of it.

If this woman... ‘Anna’, was her name, knew her most intimate memory, a memory she didn’t want anyone to know at all, shouldn’t that give her more reason to kill her? But at the same time, there was no explanation for how she had this knowledge. Unless...unless, somehow, she was telling the truth. Perhaps she was not delusional, or a threat sent to mock her. Perhaps her outlandish tale--that she was from another world, a world in which Thedas is nothing but merely a _story_ had some truth in it. Perhaps this coin, with its intricate details and gibberish markings was genuine.

But Leliana could not accept that fully. Not yet. She needed to think about this, to talk with the others, to research, to really make sure that she knew what was going on before she jumped to any conclusions.

Leliana stood up, putting away the coin and report, locking it up tight behind her. None of that would be accomplished tonight. She was better off getting some rest so that she may revisit the issue tomorrow with a clear head.

She walked down the hallway, opening the door that led into the main hall, intending to take leave to her quarters--but as she turned, something stopped her.

It was muffled, but Leliana had an excellent sense of hearing. Curious, she followed the sound. It was coming from the prisoner’s quarters. The woman was...singing? She cracked the door open slowly, only intending to open it far enough to hear what exactly was going on.

The sounds she was met with made her gasp. The song was beautiful, one Leliana had never heard before. And she knew quite a lot of them, having been trained as a bard in her past. Leliana found herself captivated. The woman was singing with all her heart and soul, and despite the hoarseness of her voice, there was a purity to it, an obvious sense of despair and heartache and _hurt_ as she sang the words “ _Save me_ ” over and over. She was putting every ounce of herself into it, sorrow and devastation laced within every word.

It was like a prayer, calling out to the Maker for his mercy, pleading for Him to hear her and offer her relief.

It had been a long, long time since Leliana had thought a surprise was beautiful-- and while an anguished song from a traumatized and injured prisoner was not unexpected, the tear that she felt roll down her cheek _was._ She hadn’t even cried when the breach had killed so many of those she loved.. but tonight...Perhaps it was the emotional turmoil of being reminded of Marjolaine, of Tug’s death, of her memory with her mother, that pushed her-- the song being the final straw to move her to tears.

If the Maker was listening in that night, Leliana could not say. But _she_ was, and she decided that the woman’s plea for mercy would not go unheard.

Leliana closed the door, turning away and straightening to regain her composure. She did not know how much she believed her story, or if she could trust her, but she could tell the woman was harmless. Yes, she decided. She would call for the healer in the morning to collect her.

And with that, Leliana went off to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the tears seem out of character for Leliana, that's because it is. I see it as a huge moment of weakness--a rare instance of her younger, less cold self shining through.


	2. A Growing Fondness-- Ellendra POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to fill in some scenes during the events of chapter five without dragging the main fic on these details so long. So here it is! All in Ellendra's POV. Read this after Chapter 5!

_ Bong. Bong. Bong. _

Ellendra quietly listened to the bells, muffled by both her distance from the Chantry and the thick canvas walls surrounding her. It was cold and overcast today, but the canvas was a good quality, held down tight so that there were no holes where cold air could leak in, and conversely none of the warmth could get out. 

She looked down at the girl she had found in the Chantry prison two days ago, replacing the wet rag on her forehead with a fresh one. The girl was dirty and undernourished, and although she had yet to wake up, she accepted the small spoonfuls of food that Ellendra carefully fed her. It was a slow process, as she had to constantly make sure she wouldn’t choke on it, but her body needed sustenance so that it could get stronger and fight off her illness. 

Although Ellendra didn’t like to admit it, she was worried. She knew she couldn’t save everyone. She was only one person, and although her mage abilities allowed her to do more, it was never enough. Being a healer meant having to take a step back from yourself, so that every time a life was lost, she wouldn’t lose herself as well. No, she had to be strong, so that the next person who was unfortunate enough to pass through the flaps of this tent could have just as much of a fighting chance as the last. 

The girl moaned and shifted in her cot, a sheen of sweat covering her dirt-laden skin. Ellendra sighed, wishing not for the first time that Mattrin was here. He would see right through her facade. He would take her aside and tell her it’s okay to be upset, or to worry about this broken girl who might not make it. He would hold her and kiss her forehead as she dirtied his shirt with her tears, just like he always used to. He would hum and murmur reassurances in her ear, patting her back, telling her “It’s okay to care, Ellie. It’s what makes you, you. It’s one of the reasons why I love you so much. But you are strong as well, and even if the worst comes to pass, you will be okay. I know it.” She could practically hear the low timbre of his voice, her memories of him still so vivid. 

She felt a deep, throbbing ache low in her belly, and a tightness in her chest as she thought of him. She quickly pushed the memories aside, taking a deep breath to calm herself. She couldn’t afford to care so much anymore, not unless she wanted it to break her. Not without him here. 

This was a war, after all. Plus, the sky was torn open with all manner of demons spilling out. Her lover was dead, and if she wanted to survive in one piece, she had to be strong. She would give every piece of herself to this cause, if it meant an end to the suffering so many had experienced. She didn’t want to live in a world where so many were lost for such meaningless reasons. 

A hand gently touched her back, and she realized all too late that she had been sitting there, staring blankly at the girl for who knows how long. She looked up, meeting the concerned, gentle eyes of Mother Giselle.

“All is not lost yet,” she said softly. “Come, you need a break. Go fetch yourself something to eat. I can watch over everyone until you return.”

Ellendra nodded, grateful to the Mother for the gesture. Yes. She would eat, and she would come back refreshed and ready to help to the best of her abilities.

She could do this. She  _ had _ to.

And she will. Even if it killed her.

 

* * *

 

The sun had finally come out today, although Ellendra wasn’t able to enjoy it as much as she wanted to, what with all the work she had to do inside the tent. Two more injured had come in, but three others had left, all in good health. Although the boy she was examining now was probably not going to make it, the fact that she was able to help three others live to see the sun shining down on them was what kept her going. 

“Grace,” she called out, catching the other woman’s attention from across the room. “Come here a moment, will you?”

Grace wasn’t a mage, instead referring to herself as a surgeon. She had arrived almost a week ago, and even with no healing abilities, she could tell the woman was competent. She was a bit over-enthusiastic about her methods, all this talk about ‘humors’ and ‘bile’ making Ellendra wary (it seemed a tad ridiculous to her)-- but when it came down to it, Grace was able to get the job done. They made a good team, with their contrasting abilities and strengths filling in for each other where the other could not.

“It’s too far gone,” she murmured to the woman once she made her way over. “The infection isn’t lessening, and the leeches have done nothing to help within the last two bells.” 

They were both peering at the boy, who couldn’t have been a day past the age of sixteen. His leg was propped up, carefully placed so that if it did heal, it would be straight. But the bone was crushed beyond what she could mend, the skin swollen and blackening. They hadn’t gotten to him in time. His leg was already infected when he came in, and while the healing potions and leeches seemed to help, it wasn’t enough.  _ She _ wasn’t enough.

He was weak, having already lost too much blood. Soon the infection would spread further, and he would die. All they could do was ease the pain before he passed.

Grace, as if sensing her thoughts, put a hand on her shoulder. “You’ve done your best, Ellendra.” she said, quickly glancing at him again before pulling her eyes back up to meet hers. A conflicted look flashed across her face, her lips pursed before coming to a decision. 

Grace pulled her closer, lowering her voice so that the boy couldn’t hear. “There’s still one option left, but he’s already lost so much blood that it may only kill him quicker.”

Ellendra met Grace’s hard look of determination with one of her own. 

“Tell me.”

 

* * *

 

The tent was no longer glowing bright golden by the time they were finished, the sun setting what felt like ages ago. She was outside now, both moons shining bright above her head as she took in the fresh air. The boy was asleep, as was most of the rest of Haven, but she could still hear his screams ringing in her ears. It had brought back too many bad memories, and it had made her want to run. But she didn’t. She  _ couldn’t. _ So instead she focused on using all of her strength to hold him down as Grace cut through flesh and bone. Even with Mother Giselle there to help, it was not an easy task.

But if it had even the smallest chance of saving him, she had no regrets. Having to listen to his screams was a small price to pay if it meant he would live to see another day.

She was exhausted. Her mana was depleted, her body sore and aching. She needed sleep badly but she was used to the feeling, having much too little of it since the war had begun.

She would sleep in the tent today, as she had done so many other nights, in case the boy woke up or anyone else needed her. Despite her exhaustion, she made sure to check each person before she crawled into bed. It was late enough that everyone was asleep. Everyone except one.

It was the girl she had been so worried about a few days ago. ‘Anna’ was her name. She had woken up two days past, much to Ellendra’s relief. She hadn’t been able to give the girl as much attention as she wanted to, and she told herself that she didn’t need it. She was healing quickly, better than she could’ve hoped for. She couldn’t allow herself to give too much attention to one person when others needed her more. It wouldn’t be fair.

But still, there was something about the girl that drew Ellendra to her. She couldn’t quite place her finger on it, but it reminded her of herself when she first came to the Circle as a young girl-- beaten, terrified, and alone. She recognized that same look on many of the other children when they were brought to the Circle for the first time, and it never failed to break her heart. Even after she eventually came to befriend and even love some of the Templars, it never stopped the feelings of hurt and anger whenever another child was broken like she had been. She could tell the girl had gone through a similar ordeal.

Plus, she had surprised her. She had been positively enraptured the first time Ellendra used magic to heal her arm. Most people in this part of Thedas were scared of it, only accepting her help because dying scared them even more. But the girl had shown no fear, only curiosity. It was so refreshing that she couldn't help but be endeared to her because of it.

The girl was wide awake now, staring at the sloped ceiling with a far away look in her eyes. Another expression which was all too familiar. She recalled how she looked earlier when Ellendra got a chance to glance up after the boy passed out. Her eyes were shut tight, the knuckles of her good arm white as she gripped the blanket close. Some of the other patients looked just as disturbed, but for some reason she felt bad about Anna the most.

Ellendra walked to the back without even thinking, plucking a small bottle out from the assortment of potions in their inventory. The girl had no possessions of her own, other than the odd looking outfit they had found her in. Just like her, when she first came to the Circle. She knew how it felt to have nothing. 

She could change that. She couldn't do much, but even the smallest gestures made a big difference when you didn't have anything else to hold on to.

She clutched the potion tight as she approached the girls cot, who didn’t seem to notice her until she was already holding it out for her to take. She blinked wide eyed and silent as her gaze traveled from Ellendra’s face down to the potion, and back up to meet her eyes again. 

“Here,” she whispered, pushing it into the girls hand. She was covered in filth, and Ellendra decided that if she had free time tomorrow she would help rectify that with a bath. “It’s a sleep draught. You only need to take a tiny sip for it to work, so be careful. But it will help.”

Anna was looking down at the yellow bottle, silent. She unplugged it and took a small sip just as instructed, handing it back almost immediately. 

“No, no,” Ellendra insisted with a small wave, “You can keep it. We have more, and you might need it again. Just try not to use it unless you really need it, and don't drink more than a small sip at a time.”

The girl slowly lowered her arm, still not speaking. Her expression was unreadable as she continued to stare at it. As if she was just now seeing it for the first time.

Ellendra knew the feeling.

Another moment of silence passed. Ellendra nodded once and turned to make her way towards the empty cot in the back, letting the girl have her space.

She nearly reached it when she heard a small “Thank you,” whispered from behind her. She looked back to the girl, who was holding the bottle close to her chest as she looked meaningfully towards Ellendra.

“It’s no problem,” She whispered back, and then she was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

 

* * *

 

The same look of blank confusion crossed Anna’s face when she came back from an errand to find the garments that were laid out for her on her cot. It had taken a couple days for it to be made, and the dresses were plain, but it was a lot better than what she was trudging around in now. Ellendra was very curious about the rest of Anna’s clothing, having never seen anything quite like it before, especially the top (which had an odd depiction of skeletons and what looked like a foreign language on it). Her breeches were made out of some type of blue material she’d never seen before, stretchy but still solid. Anna had foregone wearing them, possibly for the same reasons that Ellendra was so curious about it-- instead opting on wearing the loose fitting sleeping gown she had been given overtop the lambswool undergarments, adding her jacket and boots whenever she ventured outside. It looked ridiculous. 

So, while she had the chance, she had someone come in and take her measurements. The Inquisition paid Ellendra a small salary, and it was enough for two simple dresses. She had opted to pay a bit extra for a thicker material such as lambswool, instead of something thinner but more in style. Practicality was more important in this climate, and the dresses still looked much better than what she was flouncing around in.

Anna was a quiet girl, not offering much information about herself since she woke, but insisting on helping where she could. Ellendra had let her stay despite the fact that she was healthy enough to be released. She couldn't deny someone trying to help out, since they were so stretched thin in the first place. She guessed that Anna didn't have anywhere else to go as it was. A few times she caught this  _ look _ on her face when she thought no one was watching, and it only made Ellendra more curious. But she respected her privacy, not asking her anything too revealing, and instructing Grace to do the same. No matter how curious they were, prodding would only shut her down further. She knew that from experience. 

Anna unfolded one of the gowns with her free hand, examining it before turning to face her.

“Is this...?” She asked, cautious. The poor girl didn't want to get too excited, lest it not be what she thought it was and becoming disappointed. Sometimes she was much too easy to read, but that was probably only because Ellendra recognized so much of herself in her. Even her red hair (which had been caked in so much dirt that it looked brown when she'd first arrived) was similar hers, although Anna’s was a bit darker than her own shade of copper.

“For you,” she confirmed. Anna’s eyes lit up as she turned back to study the garment. She buried her face into it, then held it close to her heart as if it was the most precious gift in the world. Just like how she held the potion. After a moment, she set it back down, patting it before walking closer towards where Ellendra was standing. 

“Who..?” She asked, and Ellendra thought it best if she didn't know she had spent her own money on it.

“It wouldn't do for the Inquisition to have it’s people be freezing to death.” She said, deflecting. 

She could tell Anna didn’t quite believe that explanation, but she accepted it anyways. She glanced back at the clothes on her cot before turning back to beam at her. It was the first time Ellendra saw the girl smile, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “For everything.”

Ellendra shook her head. “It’s nothing,” she replied. “Now, do you need help putting it on with your arm?”

Anna’s smile never faltered. “That would be amazing. Thank you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. the boy ended up making it, but I couldn't find a good place to put that little detail in. But I thought ya'll would appreciate knowing :)


End file.
